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fac's avatar

I was born in the mid ‘50s so I learned a lot of traditional Catholicism and witnessed the living of traditional Catholicism in my extended family and the Catholic community before Vatican II came along. Everyone who was Catholic of those people knew that if you married in the Church that was it: ‘til death do you part. Period. If the marriage fell apart, either through infidelity or abandonment or abuse, the couple could separate and even get a civil divorce, but in my experience they remained single from then on and did not “date” or look for any other companionship, even innocent, with the opposite sex. (I did have one aunt who remarried civilly after her Catholic marriage ended, had two more children with that man, then divorced that guy after 10 years of marriage, and then was in a short marriage (about a year) with another man. But she was the exception among Catholics I knew),

Married Catholics who experienced severe conflict in their marriage usually just toughed it out, and from what I could see, eventually they came to some kind of understanding and peace with each other. The issues often were worst between the 10 year and 25 year mark, when they were raising children and perhaps experiencing the difficulties of finances and failures in the performance of the duties of their vows which often deeply angered the other. It seems to me, though, once the children were grown and the pressures of finances eased, and they once again were simply a couple again, they often were able to restore that peaceful and joyful relationship they had when they began. At least this is what I witnessed in my extended family. Life is not for sissies. Catholic life requires heroic sacrifice.

Gwen Sobieski's avatar

It seems to me that this situation has been created by theologians and the church so how is it possible that people who have annulments and are remarried are committing adultery. Christ gave the church the authority to loose and bind and an individual Catholic is standing on that. It seems wrong for Catholics to be expected to disavow what the church is currently allowing, when the average Catholic doesn’t know any of this.

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